Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
