i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
