I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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