i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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