Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
