Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
