i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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