haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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