Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
