I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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