If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
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I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.