My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
do herpes really smell.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital