I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
