yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
