alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize