dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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