im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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