K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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