I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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