The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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