Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i out mim tonsoeep
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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