You work out of a Hotel?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize