Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
