I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
