they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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