it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
