My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
