Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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