Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
