I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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