Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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