brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
