Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
