Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
