i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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