So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
