found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
