You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need a beard to bite.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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