so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
