brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
