Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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