i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize