When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
