i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
