I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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