apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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