She's JV to your varsity
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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