That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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