This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
