It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
