So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
