I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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