dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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