I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize