addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
