i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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