the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize