I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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