and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
