On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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