yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
