he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
