i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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